潘 小虎 Pan Xiaohu/李 雅静 Li Ya-Jing (
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annexednet2022-12-12 04:29 pm
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[Li is reluctant to do this. Starting social interactions is not her forte even in the best of times, and this is very assuredly not that. Regardless, she turns on the video, takes a breath, and steels herself to try to communicate clearly and concisely.]
Hello. My name is Ya-Jing Li. Li, if you want to be formal. I'm new here and I... [what's a way to put this that doesn't make her sound dim-witted?] I'm a bit lost on what to do. Usually I operate with more of a plan than this. I think it would be wise to develop some kind of training regime so I can maintain my combat capabilities, but I'm unsure what to do with the rest of my time here. Suggestions would be appreciated.
And if anyone remembers me from the, um, dream, from before? I would like to hear from you, just to know you made it out alright.
Hello. My name is Ya-Jing Li. Li, if you want to be formal. I'm new here and I... [what's a way to put this that doesn't make her sound dim-witted?] I'm a bit lost on what to do. Usually I operate with more of a plan than this. I think it would be wise to develop some kind of training regime so I can maintain my combat capabilities, but I'm unsure what to do with the rest of my time here. Suggestions would be appreciated.
And if anyone remembers me from the, um, dream, from before? I would like to hear from you, just to know you made it out alright.
[Video // Locked]
[He blinks then. It's a fair thing for her to wonder, and not something Donatello's really thought too deeply on, but then the why's aren't something he tends to dwell upon when it comes to how he processes things.]
Well...I'm not sure calling it 'all right' is really accurate- I don't really feel great about someone training you to be some kind of weapon or worse. But I know you're still a person.
My brothers and I...actually if things had gone differently, we might've been in a similar position. Someone wanted to create superior warriors for their cause. That's the only reason we became well, mutants. Our father's the one who saved us from that fate. ...of course we still learned to fight but at least we weren't raised by a crazy obsessed yōkai bent on destroying humanity.
[Creatures, Monsters, Nightmares- having classifications for what Li and others have been trained to be just makes that familiar, uneasy feeling in his stomach form again. There's something very wrong about people who looked for the most part human to be designated as such, and he can only wonder at the purpose for it. Surely nothing good.]
...we'll work through this. I need to think more about it. [She's presented him a problem and it's only second nature for him to figure it's something he needs to fix somehow.] But we've already established that you're still Xiaohu, and you haven't let that go. No one else should choose what you should be.
[Video // Locked]
[She's not even sure she processes things at all. Some things in her life are as unprocessed and ill-understood now as they were the day she snapped out of Creature Mode and realized the implications of what she was two years ago. Learning how to think about things is, apparently, a skill she needs to work on. Maybe it's something everyone learns. Li doesn't know. She needs a book on this, some kind of guide in learning how to be a normal human.]
That's more than you know. A lot of people back home don't see hybrids as people. I mean, most humans don't know we exist, but the ones that do aren't very kind towards us, and the Inchoate just put up with us. [And clearly, that's because they're useful, not because hybrids are considered part of their society or people.]
I can't imagine you being trained like me. You're so smart, you're so good at thinking things through, you're... I don't know. You're not someone I can picture like that. Your father must be proud of you. You turned out to be a very good person. [Li says it like it's a fact because, to her, it is. He's not flawless, but he's the kindest person she's ever met in her life and her standards are, well, a bit skewed.] I guess that's why they separate all of us, the Creatures and Monsters and especially the Curses, from our parents. It's easier to train and condition us that way.
[Nightmares are different. Installing a kill switch in someone can be done at most ages with enough work. Li is not a Nightmare, though, nor is she a Monster. She cannot be given a signal and lose herself to the overwhelming desire to kill each and every thing present. She's something closer to sane, something not as drenched in conditioning, and so she is, she hopes, at least somewhat salvageable. It will unfortunately take some outside help in deactivating existing programming, but at least the absolutely worst case scenario isn't present, here.]
Okay. I didn't expect you to have instant answers. It's a complicated situation. [This will take a while to work out. Fortunately, she's not headed out on any missions right away, so they have time.] I don't know how much choice I have left if I can't get all the programming out of me. But as much as I can, I promise, I'll try to stay me. I want to be something good. Someone good. [It's a correction she makes after a pause. Li isn't used to referring to herself in that kind of language just yet.]
[Video // Locked]
Right, you're right. I just... I'm not used to community.
[For someone who always crave such positive reinforcement, it's strange to hear it without feeling he's really done anything. It comes without him expecting it, and it tugs at that tiny little box of emotions and teases it open. Donatello swallows, his smile a tight one if only because he doesn't trust what his face is doing otherwise. Skewed or not, Li's being honest, and her compliments while they make him feel oddly awkward also warm him. Or maybe it's just his face, he has no idea.
He takes a deep breath once he feels he can do so without falling apart. Internally he feels like he's trying to tape that box back up with a near-empty roll.]
You already are.
[Someone good. It might have been a dream, but he'd seen enough to decide it. There'd been no reason for her to bait fungus-zombies or throw herself on the line, and it had been her choice to help people, help him.]
I think we said something about having tea, right? There's a cafe kinda thing here in the Magitech sector, the Cyborg. Want to meet up?
[Video // Locked]
I'm not used to it, either. I had the other Lis, but we didn't really talk much. We did watch TV with each other, though, and sometimes we patched each other up after fights.
[It's not a lot of past experience she's drawing upon as she does this, this attempt at trying to be there for someone else. Would she be better at this if she had grown up normally? Undoubtedly, but she thinks she's doing okay at this regardless. For someone with as little experience as she has, this is all she can manage. It's enough. And even if it's not enough, Li knows Donatello won't be annoyed with how ineloquent and blunt she is. He just doesn't seem like the kind of person to get irritated by such things.
Is this what having a friend is like?]
I'm trying, [she says softly, looking as caught off-guard as she feels by that comment. The idea that she might be good, even if only for little chunks of time, makes her feel warm all over, like coming into a heated building after a cold night in Harbin.] I - I know I'm probably going to make mistakes. All of this is very new. But I'm doing my best.
[Granted, her best had involved dropping a lot of people. That, though, was just training. It wasn't malice. Li hopes he understands the difference between the two and can see it in her.]
That sounds good. I don't think I've ever gotten to go to a cafe with someone like that before, just because I wanted to. It sounds nice.
[Video // Locked]
[It's nice but it's definitely taking some getting used to. Funny how the things you might have only dreamed of just feel so weird as reality.]
Hey, even I make mistakes. ...maybe not as much as other people [-okay he's recovered] -but no one is perfect. Doing your best is a perfectly sound strategy.
[He might not exactly be equating that whole episode as her best- how she'd dealt with their opponents then isn't something he's thinking about now, but he at least knows that that hadn't been completely within her control.
It's not like Donnie'd expected Li to say no, but he still smiles when she agrees then.]
Hey, fair- I mean, not like there are many places my brothers and I can just walk into as is. Our main haunts are pizza places and the mall after hours, and our usual pizza place is run by yōkai.
Anyway, much as I do not mind conversing via technological means, it will be nice to see you in person and outside of a shared hallucination.
[Video // Locked] -> Action?
[Hybrid or not, assassin or not, teenage boys were going to be teenage boys as much as mutants were. But that's really as far as her experience of hanging out with people goes, and now, suddenly, the world has opened up to her. She could go anywhere here that she wanted. She can say anything she wishes to. The idea is almost too much to comprehend. How is she supposed to act? What is she supposed to do? It's a big step forward for her, and for Donatello, too.]
Thank you for being so patient with me. I'm sure this must all be pretty weird to you, but you're being very nice about it.
[That he's willing to deal with her murderous tendencies says a lot about him to her. She doesn't notice the slight arrogance of his statement because compared to some of her superiors, he's downright humble - Li has seen men discuss the eventual subjugation of cities under their authority with what can only be called outright glee - and instead what lands for her is that he's alright with her screwing up.
She smiles back, oddly happy to have someone say that to her.]
I get to buy something from night markets on the way back from missions sometimes, and I sneak off to the temple to Guanyin when I can. That's about it. I wonder if we'll be able to find any market food here? Some of the snacks in Northeastern China are so good. I'm going to miss them if I can't get any while we're here.
It'll be good to see you, too. That hallucination felt really real when it was happening, but it's a little fuzzier now that it's over. I want to see you in the real world.
[She wants memories that aren't cloudy, and are likely to remain permanent. Li doesn't think that's much to ask for.]
[Video // Locked] -> Action!
[Gaming is more fun with other people anyway. There's plenty of new things to experience around this place so Li certainly won't be alone in that. It's a strange sort of ...well, he supposes it's as much friendship as anything else- that they'd been able to pre-establish and makes all the difference in having someone around that he at least has gotten to already know a little more.]
It says something when your brand of weird is trumped by a greater weirdness. I think after a certain point I just kind of try rolling with the punches, and just try to keep up.
[Donnie taps a finger against his chin.]
There is some kind of night market here that I haven't gotten around to checking out yet. Maybe we'll find something interesting there. We can figure things out over tea. I'll send you the directions and see you there?
[At least it's not difficult to locate Cyborg, and anyone asked is willing to give directions.
A cafe and coffee shop during daylight hours and a pub at night, it's quickly become a spot Donnie's come to like. There's a tasty menu and computers after all.
The turtle himself waits outside for Li. Even with green skin he's not an immediately easy person to spot, but that's because he's actually wearing a full outfit. He looks perfectly at home in the dark purple hoodie he's acquired, the hood pulled up over his head, his hands shoved into its generous pockets as he keeps an eye out.]
Action
[They've always looked fun, when she's gotten to see them. She's never been in one properly, but she's heard the laughter coming from them as she passes by, the bright lights and cheerful sounds. Li doesn't know how they work. She's sure she can learn, though. If kids can do it, it can't be too complicated, and for once, she won't be alone as she tries to figure something out.
The mention of a night market has her lighting up, eyes flashing cyan for just a brief second as she straightens up, visibly happier just at the market's presence.]
I hope we can find some dragon's beard candy. If we do, you have to try it. [Li nods at him and gives him a quick smile.] I'll see you there.
[The crowds here are so small that it's easy to get from place to place, and the people here barely pause a second at the sight of Li's eyes. It feels oddly familiar, like the way things might've been back when she was a child. The thought is strange and impossible to prove the validity of, but oddly comforting. Li arrives without any trouble.
She's acquired new clothes that aren't the old school uniform from the last place she was undercover at. It's nothing fancy, just a black jumperskirt over a pale lavender long-sleeved shirt and black leggings, but it does a lot to visually distance her from the image of her drenched in blood, black-clad and murderous the way she was when he first saw her.
He's a little hard to spot, but once they lock eyes, she instantly perks up. He's real. She's real. They're actually here, together, in a real place.]
Hǎojǐu bújiàn, Donatello. [She almost wants to reach out and touch him to confirm he's real, but that didn't confirm anything's realness firmly last time, so Li refrains from trying it this time.] It's good to see you properly.
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---
There's always that odd sort of disconnect when you see someone in a setting outside of what you expect to see them in. Given that in this case it had been a dream, it's a surreal thing either way to see Li there. It's also nice to see her not spattered in blood.
Donatello springs from where he'd been leaning, yanking his hands from his pockets as he throws his arms outwards at either side of him. He's not really sure where he's meaning to go with the gesture but he hopes it's welcoming before he feels too awkward about it.]
Hey..!
[He lets his hands fall at his sides, his grin softening.]
It's good to see you again, Xiaohu.
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Donatello looks different up close like this. Real, sharp and crisp where the dream had been blurred around the edges and hard to identify details in. He looks happier, she thinks, or maybe just more relaxed. Both are definitely valid things to feel given they're no longer being hunted down by a sea of infected people.
He's so expressive. Li wonders if it's a mutant thing, an American thing or a Donatello thing. Regardless of the answer, it's a nice counterbalance to the way she doesn't know what else to do besides stand there feeling overwhelmingly glad to see him. For a second she debates hugging him, then recalls his tensed body when she'd had to latch onto him in the dream. Hugs, she decides, are probably not the way to go with him.]
I'm glad I could be here. [Both because it's not her world, which is relentless in a lot of ways for her, and because here, they can do normal things like normal people, together.] Thank you for waiting for me.
[She does, instinctively, look around as if worried someone from her world will be here and have overheard what he called her. Fortunately, no one is, and after a moment she forces herself to relax, turning her focus back to him again.]
I've never hung out with anyone like this before. It's kind of amazing to think that this is really happening... what do we do first? [Walk her through this, Donnie. Inexplicably, you've ended up being the normal one here.]
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Physical contact's still a thing he's working at, but he's been a bit better with it, and he'll flip-flop between eagerly initiating hugs or enduring them when on the receiving end. But if he's learned anything from fighting off an alien invasion, it's to appreciate the people he calls family and friends a lot more.
In all fairness he isn't quite sure if Li is a huggy person or not. Maybe it's something she's trying to work on too.
He notices as she glances around, instantly feeling a little guilty for making her worry even just a little, but he'd made it a point not to be loud with her name. Only if it's just them, right. An apology's on is lips but he lets it drop once Li seems to relax again, smiling instead.]
Well, the nice thing about it is there's probably way too much to try doing all in one go so we can just do things in bits.
[It would be super weird to be considered the normal one, but the thought doesn't really cross his mind.]
Let's go have a look inside and see if there's anything you want to try.
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She's already connected more with a stranger in the course of a dream and a day than she connected to the person she was closest to in Beijing over the course of five years. The thought makes her a little sad, but also deeply grateful that she's here to have this opportunity, to be able to have a friend who isn't a hidden risk to her in some way.
Li doesn't know if she's a huggy person, or the kind of friend who talks for hours, or any number of things. Now, though, she'll have a chance to find those things out. Maybe that's what it means to be free - to be able to discover the things about herself she would have known, had she not been taken and made into a Creature.
Nothing he could've said could have made her happier than the implication there will be multiple days like this. Multiple times out, running around free and unfettered inbetween missions, no need to hide, no punishment if she slips up and acts a little too normal or laughs or - it's dizzying, the implications there. She beams at him. Her eyes flicker cyan again, red, cyan, before fading back to red and staying there. But it's a duller red, dark and something that could be mistaken for a color naturally occurring in humans.]
That sounds nice. If we need a break from serious planning, we can just come here.
[They don't have to be 'on' all the time. The thought has her a little more at ease here already. Breaks. What a concept!]
You said they had tea, right? Let's start with that.
[Please, please let there be white tea. White tea or old-fashioned fried dough or both, just something to make this perfect day even better, like something out of a dream.]
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I'm pretty sure that's what places like these are for. Take a break, relax.
[He turns towards the door to lead them inside. They're instantly greeted with that permeating whiff of coffee, but it somehow adds to the warmth of the general ambiance. There's no live music being performed currently but there's a faintly jazzy tune playing in the background, not particularly Donnie's go-to for music but he'll deal.
He points towards the counter and the menu boards.]
They have a pretty good assortment of drinks and light things to eat. I'll admit, I am not an expert in tea, that's mostly my dad's thing, so I guess I'll follow your lead in that.
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Li doesn't really have much reason to think of the future in positive terms back home. Here, she's actually looking forward to things instead of dreading them. That's a big step forward. She tucks a messy strand of hair behind her ear and nods, following him in without hesitation. It's not wildly different from cafes back home, in terms of smell or appearance, but the music is a nice touch. Jazz has never been the go-to music for cafes in China - that's classical and neo-classical, for reasons she's never understood - and she tries to soak in the atmosphere, commit to memory the smell, warmth and sound of this place so she can hold onto this memory later, call it up when she needs it.
She peers at the the menu boards, finding a mix of things there that do and don't sound familiar. Odd, that somewhere on another world should have the same options as Earth, but somehow, it's a good odd, like finding a lucky penny on the street.]
They have white tea. That's my favorite. But you don't have to have it if you don't want to; I know that floral taste is kind of love-it-or-hate-it for people.
[There's no dragon's beard candy like she'd been hoping for. There are donuts, though, which she can appreciate in any form as a decent snack, and dragon's beard candy is more likely to pop up at markets than in cafes outside of the coldest parts of Northeastern China, so she's not incredibly surprised by this. Honestly, tea is more than enough for her.]
They've got cinnamon black tea. That might be good for you if you don't like the taste of flowers. Plus, that has less caffeine in it. Hybrids don't really get effected by caffeine so that kind of thing doesn't matter for me, but I don't know what your sensitivity is. Either mutants don't exist in my world, or I've never met them.
[Either way, she's got no idea what to expect when it comes to how his body handles or doesn't handle certain things.]
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He's noticed some similarities in available food trends between here and what he's more familiar with, and quite frankly can't complain. Not that he is against trying strange alien cuisine, especially after the ...unique selections that Run of the Mill Pizza offered for toppings.
Going to these kinds of places isn't exactly something he's very used to. His brothers aren't very much of a cafe-going sort, except for the youngest, but Michelangelo's their resident food connoisseur. Usually their ventures with human food locations resulted in take-out for obvious reasons. It's nice to be able to take things in.]
Hm. Yeah, not particularly a flower guy- at least not in my food. I'm otherwise good with or without caffeine. Sometimes you just need a boost! Cinnamon black tea though... Sure, I'll give it a try.
[His stomach is a hardy one, that's for sure.]
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It's nice to get to just do what normal people do, just stand here and mull over options and talk like normal humans would be able to anywhere on Earth. Usually when Li is in a place like this she's acting as someone's bodyguard and doesn't get to actually buy things for herself.]
It's an acquired taste. I like it, but I like most things - I don't really have much I can't stand the taste of, except cornbread and corn buns. That's a texture thing, I think. [Things shouldn't be both gritty and soft. One or the other, but not both.
She orders a pot of cinnamon black tea to split between them, and a doughnut for herself. Not the powdered sugar kind - those are messes waiting to happen - but one of the 'old fashioned' ones, fried and lightly glazed but not too sugary.] I can pay you back for this. Probably. Eventually.
[Once she's gotten the hang of how things work here, anyway.]
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[That she has even that slight preference against cornmeal amuses him. Clearly she has opinions on things. That's yet another point in favor of her individuality so far as he's concerned.
He leans on the counter as Li orders, opting for one of the plain donuts himself as he digs into the pocket of his pants for payment.]
Don't worry, I got it.
[At least he's not stingy. He's long accepted responsibility for family finances solely on the basis of knowing that if it were left to anyone else then they'd starve. That no one ever questioned him regarding where he got said money just underlined that point, really.
Here he's still working things out but at least the rebels have been good enough to set them up with basic expenses, and the mission pay hadn't been terrible. But if he wants to do anything excessive then he'll need to look into a better source of income.
He slaps down the right amount on the counter while the cafe staff gets the pot of tea set up.]
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[It's the one and only thing she's never enjoyed. There's no trauma connected to it that she's aware of, no training-related reason for it, it's just so incredibly bad that she has no ability to overlook it and pretend otherwise. Much to her confusion, not only do the other Lis eat it, normal humans do, too. Either she's wrong or they all are and she's not sure which is the better option.
Li shoots him a grateful smile.]
Thank you. I'll have to get you something once I get more settled in, pay you back for being so kind. I appreciate it.
[Finances were, obviously, not left to the teenagers in her household. For one thing, Li would subsist solely on a diet of dragon's beard candy and steamed buns, which is hardly healthy, and for another, conditioning leads to a worrying tendency to forget to eat. If meals weren't mandatory none of them would have survived into adulthood. This is probably healthy for her, come to think of it; when was the last time she ate, anyway?
Li can't imagine what she'd spend her money on other than the basics of life. She never had the chance to before. Even her Guanyin pendant was paid for by someone else, a kind elderly woman who saw how happy the sight of it made Li. Having money will be a new experience entirely. She supposes she'll use it on little things like this, to whatever extent they come up.
The pot of tea is in a kettle whose style is unfamiliar to Li. Neither European nor Chinese, the geometric patterns are likely something native to this world instead, and she looks at it with interest. For all that everyone here has been quite kind and welcoming, Li can't help but feel she doesn't know much about the native culture just yet. One day, though, perhaps she'll pluck up the courage to ask people questions directly. For now, though, she turns her attention back to Donatello.]
You mentioned your father likes tea. What about your brothers? I'd heard that tea isn't very popular in the United States, but I don't know if that's actually accurate.
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Considering most of the Hamato boys' diet circulated around pizza, what might be a healthier lifestyle is completely up for debate. Thankfully Michaelangelo loves to cook and broaden their food horizons so their intake isn't completely carbs, cheese and preservatives.
Donatello is someone who thoroughly appreciates geometric anything so he can approve of this tea kettle, if the lift of his brows is anything to go by. He isn't too much of a tea person but if he was, this is something he wouldn't mind owning.]
Depends on the person. Tea places have gotten pretty popular lately but it's expanded into fancier drinks infused with tea than simple cups of it hot. Milk teas, have you had it before? They're not bad and there's probably dozens more shops that specialize in them now than when I was younger.
Leo drinks tea more often than we do, so I can only assume he likes it. Raph's not a big tea drinker and Mikey will try anything, but we won't outright turn down a cup if it's offered.
[The donuts are set on little plates, their order and a pair of cups placed on a tray for them.]
Thanks. -okay, looks like we're good to go. See anywhere you want to sit?
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Li can cook. She's not an expert at it, but she can manage, and sometimes post-mission her body won't let her sleep until she's had protein. Eggs and rice is her go-to. In a pinch, she can make a few soups, which is greatly appreciated by her fellow Lis, who collectively have maybe five dishes they can make. Mostly, though, their handlers bring food for them and maintain a certain level of vitamin balance in their diet for them. It's one of those things she's never had to think about before.
The arts here seem varied in the way art is varied back home. That makes sense, since no one place is a monolith. Li wonders what other kinds of things are here - are ceramics a big thing here? Do the geometric patterns extend to other things made here, like blankets or clothing? She can see herself liking a geometric diamond patterned blanket. That would be a nice way to experiment with having something that grounds her, too, see if she can make connections with new objects like she'd had with her Gunayin pendant.]
I've had milk teas. They're not very popular in Northeastern China, but they're much more popular down south. Simple teas without other things are still common back home, we're just seeing a lot of people opt to buy tea ingredients from small farmers instead of big companies. Those are the expensive ones, the blends that are bits of jasmine from Jiangsu and white tea from Liaoning and lemon rinds from Fujian. I've never had those, but I love the way some of those fancy ones smell. It smells like home. My old home, I mean. [When she was still called Xiaohu and her hair hit her waist, and the world made sense.]
I admire Mikey's attitude. I try to try everything, too. I don't think it's possible to really know if you'll like something without trying it. I had bear paw's stew last New Year and it was really good, even though I didn't think it would be.
[The smell put other people off of it. Li, though, was too polite to be rude to the handler who'd gotten them something nice for the holiday, and instead sat down to dutifully eat her bowl without hesitation.]
Maybe that booth in the corner? I like the warmer lighting there, and I like that it's not visible from the windows. [In the event someone from home arrives, she needs to be able to avoid their gaze. This will definitely help.]
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Sounds like something Mikey would definitely be into. He's all about quality ingredients. Bear... Huh. I have never thought to wonder what bear tastes like, but then they are not exactly common in the city.
I'm not sure anyone would enjoy any smells that remind me of home though, I mean, we live in the sewers so...
[True things didn't smell as bad as they could be in the area they'd settled in, but the sewers are still sewers.]
Looks good. Let's do it. [He picks up the tray for them, giving Li a nod to start heading over to the booth in question.]
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I don't know as much as I'd like about what's a quality ingredient and what isn't. I guess that's something I'll learn more if I keep learning to cook. [Bear is... a lot. She tries to explain it succinctly.] It's chewy and savory, and tastes a little like smoke. People either like it or they hate it.
...fair point. Did you have some kind of air purifier to make it smell better, at least?
[Li leads him over to the booth, sitting down and looking around. Some degree of being on-guard is mandatory for her, it seems, but no one she recognizes is here. For once, she can relax, if only briefly. She's safe here. It took going to an alien world unexpectedly but she's finally found a place where she can just exist peacefully. It's a thought that warms here before the tea is even poured.]
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Honestly I don't either, but I figure if you're getting ingredients straight from the people who put the work into growing and developing it, then you're getting some top quality simply because they put the extra effort into things over something mass-produced.
[And then he gets sidetracked as he tries to imagine how bear would be for a pizza topping...]
Huh? Oh, I've installed all sorts of things to make our lair home but there's only so much of the sewer you can get out of well, the sewer. It's really not that bad once you get used to it.
[He can tell she's still wary, but after the things she's told him, Donnie can't find it odd. He'd keep an eye out to but he doesn't know who or what he'd be looking for, so he just follows her lead, setting down the tray once Li seems satisfied that everything is clear. Once he's seated, he turns over the empty cups and puts her donut plate in front of her before setting his before himself. He hesitates at getting the teapot.]
Ah, you want to do the honors or..?